One of the hardest things to deal with in the world is losing people. Death may not mean the end to some, but unless you’re staring it in the face, you can’t truly comprehend what death will mean. If you are about to lose someone close to you, you may find it hard to prepare for what’s going to come next. The thing is, most of the time those who are dying are preparing US for what’s going to happen. They soothe and they comfort and they try to make us feel okay about what will come to them soon enough.
The thing is, death may be final but it can be beautiful. With the right ForKeeps product, you can record the voice of your loved one before they pass so that you can keep them living on after death and keep their memory alive. Before you can keep their memory alive, they have to go through the next stage – dying. But how do you say goodbye? How do you get through that without looking to make yourself feel better? You need these five tips.
Don’t Wait Around.
Death is inevitable, but it’s also unpredictable. Even those with a long illness cannot pinpoint when they’ll die and so you shouldn’t wait for some magically opportune moment to say it. You should say goodbye and all of the things that you want to say while you’re alive to say it – and while they are here to listen to it. Waiting could make you too late.
Leave Out The Hope.
Not to sound crass, but telling someone that they’ll be fine or they’ll get well – especially a person who is knowingly dying – is callous. It doesn’t give them hope; it makes them feel like you are in denial and it’s not their place to make you feel better about what you cannot handle. It’s not comforting to them to hear that they will get well – they know different and it’s not your place to try to force hope into them.
Just Be There.
You can bring photo albums, special songs, great anecdotes, but you can’t bring any of that to them if you’re too afraid to visit. We are all going to die one day, the only difference is that it’s not your turn right now. Turn up and be there. Sit by the bed and talk incessant nonsense if necessary, but show up in person! Be there for them to see that they matter to you. Your presence is way better than any other gift you could give.
Smile.
People who are dying are often surrounded by concerned and worried faces, hushed voices and less than happy jokes. Wear your laughter on your sleeve and show your emotions. It’s okay to smile around a dying person, and it’s okay to cry, too. Emotions are good, being an exceptional human being is easier to your friend or relative when you are open with yourself.
Choose Your Words.
Do you need to get some deathbed confession off your chest? Absolutely not. This is not the time to absolve yourself of bad feelings. It doesn’t matter if your relationship was strained – keep that out of the room at this time. Make sure you are sincere in your goodbye, too!
