There’s no denying that texting has become the norm in communicating. Multiple studies have found that millennials in particular prefer to text rather than talk on the phone, which especially includes when you’re communicating in dating and friendship. Because it’s hard to read tone and emotion in text, texting leaves a lot of room for error in communication.
That’s why I’ve compiled this list of common texting blunders so that you can avoid these texting mistakes with your crush.
1. Always Being the First to Text
Nobody likes to play games when it comes to dating, so you don’t always have to wait for him to text first. On the other hand, you shouldn’t always be the first to text him either.
If you notice that you’re always the one to strike up a conversation via text, take some time to see if he’ll text you first once in awhile. It could say a lot about how interested he really is.
2. Sending Meaningless Texts
Vague texts are okay every once in awhile, especially if you already have an established relationship with someone. But when you’re first getting to know someone, sending empty and meaningless texts can be a huge turn off. Texts like, “What’s up?” or “Hey”, or responses like “Nothing, you?” can get old quick.
Think of something meaningful to say before you hit send. Ask them if they’re going to that weekend get together you heard about, or if they heard the newest song by your favorite artist. Whatever you can do to strike up a bit of conversation is good.
3. Waiting Too Long to Reply
Let’s be real, most of us have our phones on us at all times. Your crush will know that you didn’t just “forget” to look at your phone for 5 hours during the day. And if you really didn’t have your phone on you, sending a quick text back saying, “Hey, I was sleeping” or “I was at work” will keep your crush from thinking that you’re avoiding them.
Don’t play games by waiting a long time to reply to text messages. It’s not cute.
4. Ignoring Texts
This goes along with waiting too long to reply. Nobody likes to have their texts ignored. If you are in the habit of ignoring texts, your crush may stop texting you altogether. Ignoring texts generally sends the signal that you’re not interested in talking to someone. And if you’re really not interested in talking to someone anymore, you should just tell them.
If you need a break from texting with them, you should be upfront about that, too. Your crush might just respect that you are honest enough to tell them.
5. Sending Endless Texts After No Reply
So, your crush hasn’t replied to your text message. Now what? What you definitely should not do is send an endless string of texts to try and conjure up a reply from them. Your crush could be busy with family, work, school, friends, or any number of other things. Plus, nobody owes you a reply to your texts.
If your crush hasn’t texted you back, give it some time. If they haven’t texted you back after a day, it’s probably okay to send another text. If you still don’t get a reply, it’s probably time to wait however long it takes for them to text you.
6. Not Showing Your Personality
Texting with a crush can be a little awkward at first. You may not know what to say for fear that they will judge you on it. But something you definitely want to do is let your personality show through your texts.
You can do this by texting what you would normally say if you were speaking to them in person. Before you hit send, read your text out loud to see whether it’s something you would naturally say in a conversation. Avoid sending texts that are too formal or too informal compared to your normal conversation.
7. Over-Texting
You love texting with your crush, but remember that you and your crush should have other things to do in life as well. Avoid texting your crush constantly. First, it may give the impression that you have nothing better going on in your life. Second, it can get exhausting for your crush to constantly keep up with your texts, depending on what they have going on in their life.
How can you tell if you’re texting too much? If your crush is sending significantly less texts to you than you are to them, you are probably over-texting. Cut back on your texting and let your crush set the tone for your texting frequency for awhile.
8. Giving One-Word Answers
Nothing is worse than sending a well thought out text message to someone and getting “K” as a reply back. If a decent reply is warranted in response to your crush’s text message, wait until you have enough time to send back at least a decently meaningful reply.
Or, just text them to say that your busy right now, but that you’ll continue the conversation when you’re free.
9. Over-analyzing Texts
Tone and emotion are hard to read in a text message, which is why you should avoid over-analyzing the text messages you get from your crush.
You may start to think that there is something your crush is trying to say with that smiley face or winky face. However, the truth is that most people say exactly what they mean over text and there is no hidden meaning behind what they send.
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Now that you know the most common texting mistakes that you’re probably making with your crush, you can text in confidence.
What’s the biggest texting mistake that you’ve made?
Vanessa integrates EMDR, sandtray, and attachment-focused approaches in her work and is completing credentials toward Registered Play Therapist and EMDRIA certification. With a background as a certified birth doula and a passion for making healing accessible, she writes and teaches on the intersection of trauma, neurodevelopment, and story-based therapy.
