Why Your Boyfriend Is Mean: 19 Reasons Why He’s Mean To You

19 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Is Mean

Use these signs to get to the bottom of your boyfriend's mean issues if you're dealing with someone who ignores you, is rude, or plain and simple just plain mean. Here are 19 reasons why your boyfriend is mean.

1. Poor communication

It is true that you think he is mean, but have you ever spoken your mind to him about what you think?

It may very well be that your boyfriend doesn't even know that you are upset with him. Tell him what's on your mind.

Do you think he's a really off-handed kind of person? Maybe he doesn't really think about how he's affecting everyone around him. Don't keep it a secret.

2. He's not taking it seriously

Is he really that into you? If he doesn't say it himself, you'll never know, but maybe he's just an annoying jerk who isn't committed to you.

That's why I think you need to put your hopes away on this one and move on. If someone doesn't want to be serious about a relationship, you can't force it.

3. You're being played

If he's unpredictable, he's just playing with your feelings. You'll get addicted to him if he keeps pushing you away.

Think about whether you want to keep playing mind games with him. He's just playing mind games with you. He's too scared to tell you what's really going on, so he just confuses you.

4. He has a problem with addiction

He's probably addicted to something and puts his addiction ahead of you if he's not in control of his own life.

Maybe it's a video game, or maybe it's even worse. Your mean boyfriend may have a problem with this behavior if you watch him carefully.

5. He didn't learn manners from his mom

Most guys follow their dads' example and do things the same way they do. It's likely that your boyfriend thinks he's the perfect guy because his dad is a slob or his mom didn't teach him manners. This is why he thinks he's the perfect guy.

Changing him starts with showing him what's going on and helping him change. But he has to want to change.

6. You're boring him

You don't want to spend time with a guy who gets bored with you or the relationship. Here are a few things you can do to keep him interested. That will only happen if he loves you already.

Is it worthwhile to try to keep a guy who just wants to walk away from you interested?

7. He doesn't care about you

You may not know what you'd do without him. You're only a little part of his evening, though. It's hard to have a perfect relationship if you're not both expecting the same things.

The person who does not reciprocate what you do for them by showing they care about you does not deserve you.

8. You're being used by him

Getting used by the guy you love can be frustrating, but he's probably just trying to get something from you.

You may be his arm candy so he can show you off, or it might be just for sex. If this is the case, we suggest you get rid of this worthless user right now.

9. It's payback time

Did you ever cheat on him or hurt him somehow? He may be trying to get back at you in a childish way.

He's not man enough to just talk about it, so instead, he's getting revenge. I don't have time for that, do I? Isn't that the most cowardly thing you could do?

10. This guy's a coward

It's possible he wanted to break up with you, but since he's a scared coward, he decided to be mean to force you to dump him first.

He has been a nice boyfriend all this time, now he's getting mean and distant. You should bring up the breakup conversation to find out what he's thinking.

11. He thinks you're too clingy

Every now and then, your guy might need a little space. Your constant presence may make him feel crowded, so he might want some alone time.

But if you don't consider yourself clingy, then don't date a guy who makes you feel bad about yourself just because you like him.

12. He's thinking about someone else

You might love him, but he might be in love with someone else and infatuated with you. I don't think he has time for the two of you he's so focused on the other person.

You have to just walk away with dignity if this is the case if you're totally sure that's what's going on. There's someone out there who is interested and won't treat you that way.

13. If he's not there, you're helpless

You don't know what you'd do without him, do you? If you feel helpless without your boyfriend around you, he may get mean to make you feel better.

You'll feel more confident and independent, and your boyfriend will appreciate you for who you are.

14. Your needs are different

He says you have to meet once a week to be in a relationship. He'll always seem to mean if your relationship compatibility isn't right.

We need to talk if this is the case. I suggest meeting somewhere in the middle.

15. He's narcissistic

Is he narcissistic in any other way? Does he have really high self-esteem? Is he often putting people down? Does he want everything to be perfect?

Check into narcissism and see if his meanness is simply a result of you getting a narcissist for a boyfriend. If so, you should run.

16. Something's up with him

Did you ever think there might be something deeper going on? Try asking yourself what the underlying issue might be if you're always asking ‘why is my boyfriend so mean.

Sometimes there's one, but not always. He might be stressed at work or have something going on in the family that he doesn't want to talk about. 

We can only solve this by talking to him and letting him know that you're here for him. Is that okay? Absolutely not.

17. You're misinterpreting him

Do you think he's a mean boyfriend or just misunderstood him? Don't just think your boyfriend thinks you're plain jane because he says you look okay.

Occasionally, guys use words that sound worse than they really mean because they aren't sure how to use them. It's important to ask yourself if you're really seeing things as they are if you're asking “why is my boyfriend so mean.”.

18. He's got a wall up

It could be that his walls are up from a bad relationship in the past. If he's being defensive, he might be mean to you. If that's the case, you'll have to discuss it as a couple, but that means he has to open up.

You're here for him, so let him know he can trust you. He'll talk when he's ready, but first, he'll have to stop being mean. 

19. He's a bad guy in general

Yes, it's true. It's not uncommon for the guy you're dating to treat you like dirt and expect you to treat him like a king.

You need to leave your boyfriend if he disrespects you. This guy is scum. The guy is just bad and doesn't need a diagnosis of a personality disorder to make him feel better.

Stop changing yourself for your boyfriend if you find him mean. Talk to him instead.

You can solve a lot of problems with just a conversation. He'll make himself into the prettiest boyfriend just to make you happy if he's really into you. If not, he's not your type.

Ian Walsh