There is a lot of pressure in society to find the “right” person. But although chemistry may have brought you together, it’s your ability to navigate issues in life that will determine if your relationship will go the distance.
Making a relationship work is a complicated task. Meshing two individuals and two lives together, to whatever degree, is not easy. Almost every couple has struggles and difficulties.
But how do happy couples set themselves apart from other couples? Here are 7 things that {most} happy couples do:
1. Prioritize Quality Time Together
There are so many distractions in life, especially in this digital age. The happiest couples make time together, even if they have to schedule it. Whether it be a weekly dinner date or movie night.
Make sure to mix it up once in awhile as well. It can get boring doing the same thing all of the time as a couple. Go on adventures, and make life interesting.
Quality time is even more important if you’re in a long distance relationship. Make sure that you prioritize spending time on the phone or Skype so that you don’t feel too disconnected from each other.
2. Maintain Individuality
Happy couples recognize that they are individuals first. They have their own friends, hobbies, interests, likes, and dislikes.
That’s not to say that you cannot blend your lives to some degree. But, it’s important to allow each other space to grow and experience life apart, as well as together.
3. Have a Realistic View of Relationships
Relationships have their ups and downs, as with most things in life. After the initial infatuation phase, it’s important for couples to realize that there will be many stages to a relationship and that obstacles and challenges will arise.
Each of you will go through good times and bad times as individuals and as a couple. Happy couples realize this, and understand that they need to support each other through these times.
4. Accept Each Other for Who They Are
You cannot change another person.
That’s why it’s important for couples to accept their partner for who they are. The person you met and fell in love with will likely always have the same quirks and deal with many of the same issues.
A relationship where partners are constantly trying to get the other to change, is a very unhealthy one. If you cannot or will not accept that your partner may NEVER change, then it’s probably time to move on.
5. Communicate Effectively
Communication can be difficult, even when it’s not within the bounds of a romantic relationship. And romantic relationships in particular tend to bring up a lot of emotions surrounding communication.
Happy couples know (or are willing to learn) how to communicate efficiently and effectively. This allows them to share wants, needs, and feelings with each other in a safe and supportive way. If done right, each partner feels like they have been heard and understood by the other, and that they are capable of resolving conflicts.
Here are some tips for how you and your partner can learn to communicate better.
6. Show Appreciation
The happiest couples appreciate each other. Not only that, they go out of their way to make it known to the other partner just how deep their appreciation is.
Recognize the ways in which your partner enriches your life, supports you, and makes your life easier. Then, communicate this to them. Be specific.
Here are some ways that you can show appreciation to your partner.
7. Accept Differences and Move On
Not every difference between partners can be solved. At least, not to the extent that the reality of the difference changes. In this case, the best thing that partners can do is to accept these differences.
If there is something that you both disagree on, but that neither of you are willing to budge on, the best thing to do is to figure out how you both can live with it.
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Are you in a happy relationship? If so, what are some of the things that make your relationship happy? What things could you work on?
Vanessa integrates EMDR, sandtray, and attachment-focused approaches in her work and is completing credentials toward Registered Play Therapist and EMDRIA certification. With a background as a certified birth doula and a passion for making healing accessible, she writes and teaches on the intersection of trauma, neurodevelopment, and story-based therapy.
