So there’s a guy that seems to be paying you a lot of attention. You think there’s some kind of spark, but how do you know what he really feels? Learning how to tell if a man is attracted to you can be difficult, but with a little knowledge in hand, it’s actually much easier to read the situation than you might first imagine.
Your Thoughts and Feelings v. Actual Signs of Attraction
We often have strong feelings about whether we think someone is attracted to us or not. You make a joke in the pub and he laughs uncontrollably at what you’ve said, so he must be attracted to you, right?
Sadly, our perceptions are often wrong, which can lead to us completely misreading the situation.
Research shows that our biases often alter our perceptions, with men tending to overestimate a woman’s interest and women being overly skeptical. In addition, there is a tendency to ‘mind read’ the other person and over-inflate signals because of our own feelings. You might let your own feelings take over and ‘see’ signs of attraction just because you want to see them.
Related Article: Curious how men fall in love? Here are the 6 stages men go through to fall in love.
How to Tell if a Man Is Attracted to You
The key to accurately determining attraction is to focus on the man’s actual behavior and actions. What they do and how they act towards you can tell you a great deal about how they are really feeling, so here are some classic signals to watch out for…
He shows positive body language
A man who is interested in you is likely to show positive body language, which might include sitting with open legs or frequently leaning in towards you when in conversation.
In addition, they are also likely to make a lot of eye contact, and they might also blink more rapidly. Basically, if he’s making gestures that show positivity towards you, it’s a sign that he might be interested.
He makes a lot of eye contact
We’ve just mentioned this one but it’s worth going over in a little more detail because it’s one of the biggest signs that he is attracted.
We’re not just talking about him gazing deep into your eyes, either. A man who feels an attraction might constantly glance over when he thinks you’re not looking, or if you’re standing in a group and someone shares a joke, he might look over at you to gauge your reaction and admire your cute laugh.
He talks a lot
If you want to learn how to tell if a man is attracted to you, you really must tune into exactly what he says.
When we feel a connection with someone, it’s only natural that we want to talk to them and engage in conversation. When there is an attraction, it’s also likely that we want to impress the person we have a crush on and ‘sell’ ourselves a little. Basically, if he seems like he’s trying hard to impress you, it could be a positive sign.
He makes lots of compliments
Maybe he always makes an effort to comment on your appearance, or perhaps he seems to notice the subtle things, like that new dress you’re wearing or the different way you’re carrying your hair. Either way, an increased interest in your appearance is a definite sign of attraction – especially if he compliments you when you haven’t especially made an effort.
He comes closer
We all have a sense of our own personal space, so it’s easy to spot when someone comes into it. If he tries to make the situation more intimate and ‘close the gap’ between you, that’s surely a signal he’s attracted.
In addition, pay careful attention to touch. If he laughs and touches your arm, or he “accidentally” brushes his leg against yours under the table, there just might be something in it.
Remember: learning how to tell if a man is attracted to you is all about watching out for his body language and behavior. The more signs he shows, the more likely it is that he is attracted. Just be careful not to let your own feelings take over.
Vanessa integrates EMDR, sandtray, and attachment-focused approaches in her work and is completing credentials toward Registered Play Therapist and EMDRIA certification. With a background as a certified birth doula and a passion for making healing accessible, she writes and teaches on the intersection of trauma, neurodevelopment, and story-based therapy.
