A nice guy can find it confusing when women are attracted to assholes and nice guys are last. I went through the same thing. Why being nice was so difficult? It confused me as to why women don't like nice guys.
I sometimes didn't get the results I wanted despite being a nice person. Occasionally, it backfired in a bad way, for no apparent reason. I was only trying to be nice.
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover cleared up my confusion. Finally, I realized that being nice can be done in very healthy ways (which we should all do) or in very toxic ways (which is fawning).
Forms that are toxic backfire almost every time because they are nothing more than manipulations.
So what are the top 3 reasons why women don't like nice guys? And what are the toxic aspects of being a nice guy?
Related Article: Why Men Pull Away In The Beginning of a Relationship
1. Nice Guys Have a Reputation for Being Boring
People think that being kind is all that it takes, so they lack personality. The guys I dated lacked personality. Most women like assertiveness and confidence (without being controlling or domineering).
My co-captain needs to be a leader too. I get bored of predictability. You don't have to do anything outlandish, but you should be less passive.
Women don't want to be with men who aren't assertive. Relationships are supposed to be exciting, don't you think? Guys who are strong, aggressive, and powerful attract us.
Even though it's hard for an independent, strong woman to admit, it's true.
Women aren't into people who are calm and pleasant all the time in a relationship. We like challenges.
2. Nice Guys Are Not REALLY Nice, They Just Act Like It
Many things make a guy “nice” to the other sex, but accepting her intelligence is one of the most important. For girls to be respected, you have to believe they can make rational decisions just like guys.
You're saying Women don't know better than you when you say they only go for the wrong guys. You're rejecting the possibility of them making their own choices.
Let's say the typical nice guy is right. Ladies probably won't be interested in gentlemen. They might prefer badboys. They could just ignore the guy who always comes with flowers, and go for the guy who's not going to treat them like a princess.
Though it's a flawed theory, let's give it a shot anyway.
It's still condescending. In this case, it assumes you know what women should find attractive. It doesn't consider that girls might prefer those qualities. Taking care of them would mean taking care of their right to pursue the guys who have them.
Girls Are Smart
There's nothing wrong with being upset that you don't – I'm upset that I'm not Michael Fassbender – but it doesn't mean you're right in thinking girls like you more than they like them.
They're smart. Their brains work well. And they're capable of making their own decisions.
It's impossible to be an alpha male if you're a nice guy
It is always a great thing when girls want a guy who can earn their respect and is in charge of things. If your friends do not respect you or listen to your opinions, then you know you are a nice guy.
I have found that nice guys are easy to manipulate since they allow themselves to be manipulated even when they realize that they're being manipulated. Any girl they are dating will be irritated by the fact that nice guys almost always seem to get screwed.
If you try to settle any concerns in a polite manner, then you will not be able to defend your girl. There isn't an assertiveness in her and she doesn't directly question anyone's opinion. The problem is that they manipulate girls in ways that are very annoying to anyone who dislikes being manipulated.
It is true that there are weak people among the good guys. Despite knowing that they're right, they still can't speak up and take a stand for themselves. It looks weak.
3. Nice guys win in the end
Guys who are nice are more sensitive and caring. You can rely on them as a boyfriend or partner for life. Nice guys aren't ideal boyfriend material, though.
Older guys and girls tend to have more stable, predictable lives, and when things like these come up, the nice, dependable guy wins out.
Wouldn't it be nice to start impressing women before you turn 40? If that's fine with you, keep living your life like you always have.
Learn to man up and face the world like a real man if you want to attract women now, impress them, and have a great time with them. Don't let anyone take you for granted, and take responsibility for your own actions. Say what you think and be taken more seriously.
All girls want a nice guy with a spine, someone who's gentle and sweet, but also strong and confident. You'll always beat every other guy in the world if you're nice and believe in yourself. You'll be every girl's dream date if you just take a stand.
