Birth is an intimate act that works best when a woman can relax and let go of her inhibitions. One of the most critical steps to coping with your labor naturally is the element of privacy.
You must do everything you can to create a safe and comfortable environment to labor and give birth. Stress and anxiety can inhibit delivery and make you feel self-conscience about the coping mechanisms that work best for you.
The Impact of Environment on Birth
Like the act that created your baby, labor is progressively more intimate and private, nearing the time of birth. There are certain sounds and movements that you will feel like making that you won’t be comfortable doing in an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people.
You will likely be nude for much of your labor and birth, and there may be a certain kind of music that you would like to listen to. These things can be a source of embarrassment if you do not have the privacy you need.
Famous midwife and author Ina May Gaskin often mentions in her teachings that there are certain people that, when they walk in the room, a baby can not be born. They are so tense and give off such a strange vibe that women can not dilate quickly around them.
I want to add that some environments can have quite the same effect on laboring women; If not stop or stall labor, they can certainly make it a more painful, less intimate, and enjoyable experience.
Creating a Birthing Sanctuary
Did you know that labor can be enjoyable or even pleasurable?
Many women who experience labor in an environment where they have privacy and feel uninhibited would precisely explain their work and birth. It’s all about creating a space where you can let go and “do labor” in your way. This can mean different things to different women.
In general, you should limit the people present at your birth to only a few whom you trust.
You have to be able to “let it all hang out” around them and feel no anxiety or embarrassment about it. Now is not the time to invite your family members just because they want to be there. Be very careful who you ask for your birth.
In most cases, you can easily give birth where you would otherwise feel comfortable having a bowel movement or being intimate with your partner. For most women, this is in their home, and more specifically, in a part of their home. They will feel comfortable walking around naked and acting on their impulses.
If you must give birth in another location, such as a hospital or birthing center, there are things you can do to create your own private space and make it feel more like home.
How to create an intimate space in the hospital:
- Request that the door is closed and all people have your permission to enter and exit the room.
- Have control of the lighting
- Bring items and scents from home to make the place feel more like your own
Whatever you can do to make the area feel private and secure will help you along during labor and make it easier for you to let go and cope with delivery in the ways that work best for you.
I Recommend ‘The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth’ from Amazon
Alongside her therapeutic work, Vanessa is also a certified birth doula. With her doula training, she offers compassionate support to individuals and families during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period, ensuring a nurturing and empowering experience.
Vanessa's commitment to supporting individuals on their healing and transformative journeys shines through her expertise in trauma therapy and her compassionate approach to birth support. With her diverse skill set and passion for holistic well-being, Vanessa strives to provide comprehensive care and education.
“Request that the door be closed and all people have your permission when entering and exiting the room.”
Does this include nurses at the hospital? Can you actually make this request and they follow it? Or are you just talking about friends and family?
What some people do is request that only their primary nurse be allowed to enter regularly. I hope that helps!
One thing we need to stop doing, is labeling a woman as being “selfish”, for wanting comfort, peace, and privacy during her body’s childbirth and labor. She is the patient, not anyone else, until her baby is safely lifted from her body.
This medical situation is not about her husband. It is not about trying to please her husband and him wanting to make decisions for her body. It is her body, not his. This is not about trying to satisfy some foolish notion of inviting the grandparents, so that the grandparents can be “excited about the baby”. So ridiculous, hogwash, humbug. 🙂 And labeling the pregnant woman as selfish and silly, is ludicrous.
What woman wants her dad, her mother in law, and her father in law to come in when she is laboring or giving birth. She is in a naked people. she is in the most vulnerable position ever.. Would her husband let his mom and dad and her parents, come in while his legs are up in stirrups and he is in pain, while his genitals are naked and bloody? I know he would not. There would be a congressional law made to protect men’s thingies. Seriously.
Let us be realistic people and most of all fair to women. Women, we need to speak up for our gender, like men do. Non baby daddy males, please stop asking to be in another woman’s delivery room. Are you out of your minds? And husbands, stop being selfish and uncaring and expecting your wife to discuss visitors with you. There is no such thing as compromiseing now. What the wife says when she is the patient goes. She says no and it’s no. It is not your call. Why would a husband even think that his wife wants her in laws and menfolk to see her naked. Heck, the woman is in some serious pain and naked. Wake up men. Stop being clueless and selfish.
I don’t know when and where that trend started, but it must stop now.
This is so true! We are 37 weeks pregnant and planning our 2nd birth, first home birth. I have a close girlfriend who I invited to come help watch the toddler and be there with me. But her husband is very controlling of her, and wants to come too. He doesn’t want to watch, but wants to be in the next room. I said yes at first, because it was all or nothing, but now I’m thinking we probably won’t call them until after my baby is born. It really stinks because I would love for her to be here! But not if he is part of the deal! You should bjust never, NEVER invite yourself to a birth!
A husband cannot control that part of marriage.
It sure would be nice if the nurses and doctors recognized the fact that a woman does not want to be exposed in front of her relatives or her husbands’s relatives.
Doctors and nurses stop people at the door when a man is having his penis and testicles examined, much less if they were bloody and he was pooping on the table. Kind of proves what so e feminist say about the double standards with the genders.
I am preparing for my second birth… With the first EVERY ONE was there and I want to do this one different…. We don’t want anyone there until after but don’t want to deal with attitude from grandparents… Suggestions?
Privacy is important when you are naked